RECONCILING THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION IN A MARIST SCHOOL
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May 13, 2024
For information on admission to Notre Dame Prep, please click here.
Notre Dame Prep’s students bear witness to a sacrament whose rituals have changed considerably since their parents and grandparents were in a Catholic school, but the Sacrament of Reconciliation in any format remains a priority for the Pope and for the Church.
NOTE: This story was originally published in the latest issue (volume 8, issue 2) of Today's Marists magazine, which is produced by the Society of Mary in the U.S.
In March of 2014, a little more than a year after his election, Pope Francis was leading an initiative and event in Rome organized to encourage Catholics around the world to fulfill their obligation to go to confession in the sacrament of Reconciliation. The plan was for Pope Francis to join with other priests who were stationed around the basilica in confessionals. However, that plan went awry as he surprised those around him and instead entered the penitent’s side of a confessional, blessed himself and conversed briefly with the priest.
The Pope’s intent became obvious ultimately as he was making himself an example by participating in a ritual rather than administering it as the chief pastor and shepherd of the whole Church.
This year during the season of Lent, the Pope again stressed the importance of confession, underscoring that the richness of the sacrament is seen in the Act of Contrition, a testament to God’s mercy and love.
In the last 50 or 60 years, the Sacrament of Reconciliation has evolved dramatically from a somewhat rigid and foreboding practice of cataloging sins to one that emphasizes spiritual guidance and mercy. Confessions are no longer only in a darkened confessional separating the priest from the confessor, but now are also held in a quiet, open, peaceful room with the priest.
These changes have occurred during a time when the number of Catholics who regularly attend confession has declined. In the 1950s and ‘60s, as many as 80% of all Catholics in the U.S. went to confession at least once a year with many going as often as once a month. A recent survey by Real Clear Opinion Research, a service of Real Clear Media Group, found that around 37% of Catholics went to confession at least once a year, while 28% go less than annually - and 35% never go.
Students embrace the openness
In light of what many Catholics - especially those in the Church hierarchy - think is a “confession crisis,” how do young people of faith feel about this part of their still “new-ish” spiritual journey? And how do they feel about its sacramental ritual - whether in a confessional or face-to-face?
Della Lawrence is the director of campus ministry at Notre Dame Preparatory School (NDP). She shared that in her 12+ years in campus ministry at NDP, she cannot remember any student requesting a private setting for confession.
“The students are always receptive to face-to-face,” she said. “We’ve never had a student actually ask for something different. I also am quite confident in saying that even in most parishes, even when my own kids were learning to receive the sacrament, it was always face-to-face.”
Lawrence said that especially during the season of Lent, campus ministry continues to provide a myriad of reconciliation services for NDP students in third through 12th grade.
“We brought our third, fourth and fifth graders over to the main school campus and did a prayer service with them, and inside that prayer service is the Sacrament of Reconciliation,” she said. “Students are all encouraged and invited to go to confession - those who are Catholic, of course.”
She said those who are not Catholic are told they can meet with the priest for a blessing.
“It’s really an invitation, an invitation for them to really understand and know what the process is, that it is an internal reflection,” she said. “Right from the beginning, we’re talking to the kids at all ages about the sacrament. And they also talk about it in religion classes, even the pre-K through second grade students.”
Spiritual retreats provide opportunities
At the other end of the age spectrum at NDP is Chanel Issa, a 12th grader looking forward to graduation this month. For her, reconciliation means more than simply seeking forgiveness.
“For me, the Sacrament of Reconciliation means still another way of connecting with those who you have established relationships with over the years, especially now that I’m graduating high school,” she said. “I want to strengthen those relationships with my family and with my friends, and I feel like the idea of reconciliation, the process of seeking forgiveness and forgiving others and making sure that you’re still keeping in touch with others is pretty pivotal, especially since it’s my senior year.”
Issa said that school retreats also provide an opportunity in a more intimate setting to “reconcile” with her fellow classmates.
“I loved going on our retreats and I feel like they really helped with rekindling friendships that maybe weren’t quite as strong in the past,” she said. “Opening yourself up to God and seeking reconciliation also opens your relationships with friends as you seek reconciliation with them.”
Nolan Tompkins, Issa’s 12th-grade classmate, has a different take on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, perhaps a bit more traditional.
“For me, the sacrament means a lot,” he said. “Because we are human, we tend to mess up a lot and sometimes move away from God and reconciliation just reminds me that God loves me no matter what I do.”
“God will always forgive me, as long as I bring my sins to the priest and confess everything and I feel sorry for my sins,” he said. “I’m still a child of God, and reconciliation just gives me a chance to reunite with God.”
A calming effect
During this interview, Lawrence was in the middle of organizing reconciliation services for NDP’s middle schoolers. Each year, she sets up a day at nearby St. John Fisher parish, which serves as the Catholic campus ministry for Oakland University a few miles east of Notre Dame Prep.
“We usually have eight to 10 priests on hand for about an hour and a half,” she said. “Nowadays, it’s a little difficult to get that many priests to be able to devote the same hour and a half. But we begin working on it at the start of the school year.”
She said that other area schools are now following this same format for reconciliation services.
Lawrence shared, “We even have an alumnus from NDP, Fr. Eric Fedewa (Class of 2000), who is pastor at St. Basil the Great parish in Eastpointe, Mich., help us out.”
According to Lawrence, they take over the entire complex at St. John Fisher for the reconciliation service.
“Every classroom - and they have a lot of different classrooms - has a priest whether it’s upstairs or downstairs,” she said. “And we have seats and chairs and waiting spaces for students to come and wait for a station to open up after which they go into the room for confession.”
Juan Pablo Turrubiartes is a seventh grader at NDP. He first received the Sacrament of Reconciliation at St. Mary of the Hills in Rochester Hills, Michigan. Since then, he has gone to confession a number of times at the NDP-organized service at St. John Fisher.
“I believe the Sacrament of Reconciliation is where you go and talk with a priest and reflect over your sins,” he said. “You then are pardoned and given advice on what you can do to avoid your sins in the future.”
He adds that for him, it is like you are talking with Jesus and asking Him for forgiveness.
“He will always forgive you as long as you are truly sorry. When I participate in this sacrament, while I may have failed God and his mission for me, I feel grateful for the opportunity to reunite with God and continue his mission for me.”
He says sometimes he is a bit nervous before meeting with the priest.
“But when I talk it out with the priest, I feel much calmer - as if God just came in and forgave me with his unending grace and mercy,” he said.
Natalie Esseily, a sixth grader at NDP, says that reconciliation, the opportunity to be forgiven, is a gift that some people are sometimes too afraid to unwrap.
“But I feel very blessed to be able to participate in this merciful event,” she said. “Many people do not understand what a wonderful opportunity it is to convert from a life of sin to a life of following the tenets of God and to renew your commitment to become a better follower of Jesus.”
The Marist Way
In addition, and most importantly, Lawrence remains focused on tying the Sacrament of Reconciliation to the school’s Marist mission.
“One of the things we talk about with our young people especially during Lent, is that Marist sense of humility,” she said. “Father Jim Strasz, s.m., defines that as being comfortable in your own skin. You know, being authentic. He’ll ask them ‘how can you be authentic if you’re wearing a mask? And what mask do you need to let go of today?’”
Lawrence also said one of the elements that she and her team brings into discussions with students on the Sacrament of Reconciliation is how they can think, feel, judge and act like Mary in all things.
“What does that look like? How am I doing that? Am I a person that is thinking about what is best for all? What are my values? Am I making good choices for myself? Am I someone other people can rely on to make good choices and be someone who’s going to lift somebody else up and not bring somebody else down? When have I brought someone else down? Can I let go of that now?
“But it’s always within that Marist lens and Marist framework,” she adds. “It’s always infusing our Marist values and who we are. We focus on this in appropriate ways at each grade level. We focus on this with the middle school, and we focus on these areas with the high school on a much deeper level.
“We tell our students that they will get closer to God in the process of reconciliation, knowing that God is a forgiving, merciful God, and that we have to learn to become more like Him.”
For information on admission to Notre Dame Prep, please click here.
Comments or questions? mkelly@ndpma.org
About Notre Dame Preparatory School
"At Notre Dame Prep, we inspire our students to become the best versions of themselves. We challenge them through an experience of academic excellence, focused on active, project-based learning. We invite them to explore a world of opportunities beyond the classroom. We guide them as they grow in spirituality within a community strong in its Catholic and Marist identity."
Notre Dame Preparatory School is a private, Catholic, independent, coeducational day school located in Oakland County. Notre Dame Preparatory School's upper school enrolls students in grades nine through twelve and has been named one of the nation's best 50 Catholic high schools (Acton Institute) four times since 2005. Notre Dame Prep's middle and lower schools enroll students in pre-kindergarten through grade eight. All three schools are International Baccalaureate "World Schools." NDP is conducted by the Marist Fathers and Brothers and is accredited by the Independent Schools Association of the Central States and the National Association of Independent Schools. For more on Notre Dame Preparatory School, visit the school’s home page at www.ndpma.org.