FREE TO FLY: BECOME THE PARENT YOUR CHILD NEEDS

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February 5, 2026

For information on admission to Notre Dame Prep, please click here.

Raising capable kids in an age of overhelping: Nicole Runyon to speak at Notre Dame Prep Feb. 11.

When children struggle, most parents’ instincts are the same: step in, smooth things over, fix the problem. According to psychotherapist and parent coach Nicole Runyon, that instinct — while deeply human — may be doing more harm than good.

Runyon, LMSW, will bring that message to Notre Dame Prep on Feb. 11 when she presents Free to Fly: Let Them Fail So They Can Succeed, a talk designed to help parents rethink how support, limits and independence intersect during the critical middle and high school years.

Drawing from her clinical work, personal experience as a parent, and research in child development, Runyon challenges families to consider a difficult question: What if helping too much is part of the problem?

Why independence matters now

Runyon’s work began to shift several years ago as she noticed a troubling pattern in her therapy practice.

“When I began seeing children with severe mental health struggles without trauma or clear cause, I had to ask: what is happening to this generation?” she said recently.

Her conclusion was not that expectations for children are too high, but that in many cases, they are too low. Parents, she says, often rush to rescue, excuse and overmanage — unintentionally limiting their children’s opportunities to build resilience, responsibility and accountability.

“Middle and high school are critical years for learning responsibility, resilience and accountability,” Runyon said. “Those skills cannot develop without failure.”

Moving beyond extremes in parenting

Runyon is quick to emphasize that her message is not about blame or reverting to outdated approaches.

“My goal is to help this generation of parents be in the middle of where the boomers were and where the gentle parents of the early 2000s and the present are,” she said in a recent interview with NDP. “The ideal form of parenting is authoritative parenting. It is high love and high demand.”

Rather than dismissing children’s feelings or removing all discomfort, authoritative parenting, she explains, balances empathy with expectations.

“We need to hold them to the expectation that they can solve their own problems and show them support at the same time,” Runyon said. “They need to learn how to move forward, and it’s through our connection with them as parents that they find the capability of doing so.”

Why parents struggle to let go

Runyon acknowledges that stepping back is often harder than stepping in — particularly for today’s parents.

“A childhood void of emotional support, direction and not enough connection” has shaped how many adults parent today, she said, while overprotection and constant access to technology have made discomfort harder to tolerate for both parents and children.

“Because parents aren’t able to be uncomfortable, it’s hard for them to hold space for their kids to be in pain and discomfort,” Runyon said. “They coddle their kids because they don’t know it’s safe not to; in fact, it’s necessary not to.”

Her Feb. 11 talk will explore how parents can tolerate that discomfort while still staying connected and supportive.

A practical, relatable approach

Runyon’s approach resonates with families in part because she does not present herself as a perfect parent.

“I use personal stories of mistakes I’ve made as a parent to help parents understand that there is no perfect parent,” she said. “It’s painful to recognize when we’ve made mistakes, but once we know better, we do better.”

She emphasizes that growth is always possible.

“It’s never too late to repair,” Runyon said, noting that understanding child development allows parents to revisit earlier decisions and make adjustments that better support independence.

Parents attending the Notre Dame Prep event can expect clear takeaways, real-world examples and a free resource to help them begin making changes right away.

“You’ll leave with clarity and confidence,” Runyon said. “Because capable kids aren’t rescued — they’re raised.”

About the speaker

Runyon is a licensed master social worker, psychotherapist, parent coach and keynote speaker who delivers approximately 30 speaking engagements each year, primarily at schools across the country, both in person and virtually. She also speaks to corporate parent groups, conferences and national summits.

She is the author of the bestselling book Free to Fly: The Secret to Fostering Independence in the Next Generation, which expands on the themes she will discuss at Notre Dame Prep.

A Michigan native, Runyon earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Michigan and completed her master’s degree in social work at Wayne State University. She grew up on Detroit’s east side and in Grosse Pointe, where she now lives with her husband, Douglas, and their two children. Her son, Oliver, is a junior at University of Detroit Jesuit High School, and her daughter, Noelle, attends Our Lady Star of the Sea School.

More information about Runyon and her work is available at nicolerunyon.com.

An evening for Notre Dame Prep families

The Feb. 11 presentation offers Notre Dame Prep parents an opportunity to reflect on how everyday choices shape their children’s confidence and capability — and how letting go, thoughtfully and intentionally, can help students thrive.

For families navigating the challenges of adolescence, Runyon’s message is both timely and practical: supporting children does not mean removing every obstacle; it’s about preparing them to face obstacles on their own.

Register for the presentation at https://bit.ly/4qomB9r

For information on admission to Notre Dame Prep, please click here.

Comments or questions? mkelly@ndpma.org

About Notre Dame Preparatory School
"At Notre Dame Prep, we inspire our students to become the best versions of themselves. We challenge them through an experience of academic excellence, focused on active, project-based learning. We invite them to explore a world of opportunities beyond the classroom. We guide them as they grow in spirituality within a community strong in its Catholic and Marist identity."

Notre Dame Preparatory School is a private, Catholic, independent, coeducational day school located in Oakland County. Notre Dame Preparatory School's upper school enrolls students in grades nine through twelve and has been named one of the nation's best 50 Catholic high schools (Acton Institute) four times since 2005. Notre Dame Prep's middle and lower schools enroll students in pre-kindergarten through grade eight. All three schools are International Baccalaureate "World Schools." NDP is conducted by the Marist Fathers and Brothers and is accredited by the Independent Schools Association of the Central States and the National Association of Independent Schools. For more on Notre Dame Preparatory School, visit the school’s home page at www.ndpma.org.